1. A Celebration of H. Hare
2. Joseph and Alexander
3. The Problem With April
4. Nicki Lighthouse
5. Was Your Face a Head in the Pillow Case
6. Julie the Mouse
7. In the Army Kid
8. Buried With Me
9. Spoonful of Sugar
10. Ira’s Brief Life as a Spider
11. The World Keeps Going Round
12. Scenes from My Funeral
13. True Friends Don’t Want to Do Things Like That
14. The You I Created

Originally released by Kindercore Records, 2000

Album art by David Barnes

PURCHASE FROM POLYVINYL RECORDS

A CELEBRATION OF H.HARE

Dear sweet brother of mine
I’m so glad you’ve made it
You’ve really accomplished something incredible
And I’m so very proud of the art we create now

I love you I love you
And I know that you love me too

Dear sweet brother of mine
I’m so glad to say it
Together we’re making something incredible
And I’m so very proud ofthe way that we live now

I love you I love you
And I know that you love me too

Its strange how when we were young
I was so mean to you
I didn’t know the connection we had till we go older
But now yes now

Dear sweet brother of mine
I feel I should say that
All of these things I make with you
give my life meaning

What started with the Gay Parade
Will continue till the end of our days

JOSEPH AND ALEXANDER

Joseph and Alexander ride their flaming swans
above Miss Dovepost and her loudmouth niece
who had a fear of geese and who even in a corset
looked remarkably obese

Joseph and Alexander redirect their swanis left
to take a gander at the funnel nosed threes
in the Pekinese trees
who are normally a nervous sort
but now seem quite at ease

Joseph and Alexander are brothers and best friends
the wonderful adventures that they share together never end
Be sure to send a smile for me and Dave
to wherever they’re pretending to be
I hope they keep a journal
and take lots of photographs
of all the funny things they see

Joseph and Alexander
approach the nest of the speckled salamander
who with utmost care is knitting thermal underwear
She smiles and hollers up
“These are for my grandchildren to wear”

Joseph and Alexander feeling tuckered
now decide to meander back into their beds
and kiss their swanis on the head
but before going to sleepy land
Joseph turned and said
“Aggats, I love you”
Alexander yawned and said
“Joseph me too I love you”

THE PROBLEM WITH APRIL

The problem with April is the problem with May
is the problem with June and July
it’s the problem with all of the months
since you said goodbye

The problem with Monday is the problem with Tuesday
is the problem with Wednesday and Thursday
it’s the problem with all the week
since you went away

The bills keep piling up
and my bed gets bigger and bigger
I feel like I’m being watched
and I’m forever under the weather

The problem with Summer is the problem with Fall
is the problem with Winter and Spring
it’s the problem with all of the year
since you’re no longer here

The problem with evening is the problem with morning
is the problem with the afternoon
the problem of all of the day
since you went away

NICKI LIGHTHOUSE

Everybody does the same things
Everybody’s the same
Everyone that is ‘cept for my friend Nicki Lighthouse
She is from the jungle and has never rode a bike
Instead she rides on apes and llamas
everywhere she goes

And everywhre she goes the boring people say
“There she goes again
the strangest girl that’s ever been”

Everybody thinks the same things
Everybody’s the same
Everyone that is ‘cept for my friend Nicki Lighthouse
Where she’s from forward is backward
and down is up
so she eats her dinner on the ceiling
and wallpapers the floor

And everywhre she goes the boring people say
“There she goes again
the strangest girl that’s ever been”

I’m a big fan Nicki Lighthouse
You know that I am
You know that I am

WAS YOUR FACE A HEAD IN THE PILLOW CASE?

Looking under the ghost on your face
kind of ruins it for me
I don’t want to see you toss it’s hair
No I don’t need you to show me its smile

You see because I’m learning
yes I know about your mask
so I no longer have to ask

If I can peek behind the ghost on your face
that really ruins it for me
I don’t want to clap and stare
while you show me the expressions it makes

You see because I’m learning
yes I know about your mask
so I no longer have to ask
“Was your face a head in the pillow case?”

JULIE THE MOUSE

Nothing can save me from the pain
of you not loving me
It doesn’t help me to complain
I just have to feel it
and hope it goes away

But it’s so useless and it hurts just like it did before I’m afraid that I’ll close up inside
and no longer feel anything anymore

It’s such a strange need to be deprived of
To just want love and feel happy

IN THE ARMY KID

Riding to the station on the bus
because I want to pick out some books
But Jen she’s a librarian
and she hunts my butt to this day
Usually the bills make me stay the night at banks so…

Sorry but you’re just not my type
You know I’ll walk you home anyway
Did you know I had a funny dream
and in it I was in the army

Riding to the station on the bus
because I want to pick out some books
But Jen she’s a librarian

So its time to get down
spin on the ground and say
“I want to turn the daytime into night”
If you’re very tired we can simply retire and say
“I want to turn the nighttime into day”

Sorry but you’re just not my type
You know I’ll walk you home anyway
Did you know I had a funny dream
and in it I was in the army

BURIED WITH ME

Writing your name in the fog on my bedroom window
Speaking to voices of her in the dark
I know that there is nobody here
so why am I crawling on the floor

Its a lonely life
One that warps me with each minute that passes
One that I really shouldn’t share
It’s better if I’m not aware that I won’t succeed
that my dreams will be buried with me

SPOONFUL OF SUGAR

Sometimes I’m feeling bad and then again I’m sad
but she makes me happy
Sometimes I’m feeling wrong and that I can’t go on
but she makes me understand and see

She’s a spoonful of sugar to me
So sweet so sweet so sweet to me

She makes me feel so right
makes everything so bright
That’s why I love her you see
Best girl I ever had she never made me mad
She’s the right girl wouldn’t you agree?

She’s a spoonful of sugar to me
So sweet so sweet so sweet to me

One thing I understand I’ll soon to be a man
and I’ll want her for the rest of my life
One thing we’ll have to plan I’ll soon want to have
her hand and I’ll want her to be my wife

(third verse same as the first)

IRA’S BRIEF LIFE AS A SPIDER

All the baby spiders in the nursery
waving to each other clinging to their mothers
and smile at their dads who say
“Now that’s a clever lad”

One particular spider, who’s parents had named Ira, fell out of his mother’s arms and became lost inside the giant insect hospital. Since mother spiders give birth to so many babies at one time it is exceedingly difficult to keep track of all of them and sometimes a baby will get lost without it’s mother ever being aware of its absence. Ira was just such a case. He crawled about for hours crying but his mother couldn’t hear him for Ira was a mute. This is where the story gets interesting.

He opened his mouth and discovered a lake in a crater on his tongue. He was thirsty so he drank from the lake. This proved to be a fatal mistake as the lake was really a cake filled with poisonous snakes, and Ira died.

A nurse discovered dead baby Ira and sank with grief. She gently lifted him up to her breast and carried him weeping to the head nurse to see if any baby spiders had been reported missing. The head nurse checked her missing baby spider file and told her that “No, no missing baby spiders have been reported.” The nurse holding dead baby Ira then asked if they could have a funeral for him. The head nurse, being a very caring grasshopper, agreed that that would be the proper thing to do. So they dug a small hole near a yellow tulip, held a brief but moving requiem and with great sadness buried baby Ira.

Miraculously, Ira was quickly reincarnated as a wild horse on the far off planet called Nearly. on Nearly, wild horses hold the majority in the senate and Ira has discovered pudding. His favorite is the kind without raisins.

All the baby spiders in the nursery
waving to each other clinging to their mothers
and smile at their dads who say
“Now that’s a clever lad”

THE WORLD KEEPS GOING ROUND

You worry ’bout the sun
What’s the use of worrying ’bout thebig old sun?
You worry ’bout the rain
The rain keeps falling just the same
You worry when the one you need
has found somebody new

But the world keeps going round
The world keeps going round
You just can’t stop it
The world keeps going round

You worry ’bout your friends
What’s the use of worrying now you’re almost grown?
You worry’bout your own
What’s the use of worrying cause you die alone?
Well times will be hard and rain will fall
and you’ll feel mighty low

But the world keeps going round
The world keeps going round
You just can’t stop it
The world keeps going round

Well times will be hard and rain will fall
and you’ll feel mighty low
But the world keeps going round

SCENES FROM MY FUNERAL

It’s funny that when I die my friends will get to see
what kind of suit my mom buries me in
I hope it’s dark blue with blue stars
When the priest leans over me
and starts talking about Jesus
and the state of my soul please remind him
we’re having a funeral here not a play

Pick me up
Four for each side of the box
March me to the shiny black car
Long winding procession of cars
Mostly of silver and black
Gentleman in black suits and the ladies in black
Dresses and gloves
Now carry me out to the grave
The spot where I’ve paid to be buried
And just before whoever gives the command
to send my body down
I’ll jump out of the box and tap dance
from head to bald head
I’ll swoop and I’ll spin I’ll rise and dive down again
I’ll laugh like a baby so happy and free
And no one wlil see no one will notice me

TRUE FRIENDS DON’T WANT TO DO THINGS LIKE THAT

I live my life like I’m reading my own biography
Every night writing my discography
But let’s talk about our coy romance
Doesn’t it seem like it’s always been here
Love I mean, love I mean
Walking around bumping into things
I try to say “Hi” I end up making you cry
True friends don’t want to do things like that
True friends don’t want to do things like

Live my life like I’m reading my own biography
Every night arranging my own anthology
But let’s talk about this crack from which whenever
We’re close something yanks us back
It’s probably me, its probably me
Stumbling around crashing into things
I try to be sly I end up licking your eye
True friends don’t want to do things like that
True friends don’t want to do things like that

THE YOU I CREATED

It’s hard to know exactly
when my dreams got weird
I tense up and get antsy when you’re near
But nightly you appear to me
ghostly in my head
but I never can remember what you said

It must be something reassuring
something sweet and kind
something you would never say in real life
Where does it go in the morning
It slipped out of my hand
Eating breakfast with my other thoughts
away from wakeful lands
Where is the you I created
the you that I adore?
When my eyes are open I don’t see you anymore

It’s hard for me to fathom
that you disappeared
and turned into exactly what I feared
But every night you sing to me
when my eyes are closed
But I never can remember how it goes

It must be something undeserving
only in my mind
Something you would never sing on your time
It disappears without warning
It shifts like grains of sand
Galavanting with some other dreams
I didn’t understand
Where is the you I created
the you that I adore?
When my eyes are open I don’t see you anymore

But nightly you appear to me
ghostly in my head
but I never can remember what you said

CAST IN THE HAZE (BEEN THERE FOUR DAYS)
Japanese bonus track

I’m happy today because I’m in love and feeling afraid
Oh I hop off the train singing your name
I knock on your door I don’t know what to say
When you answer I just smile and say “hey”
I’m happy today I’m up on a cloud
and caught in the fray
Oh I’m pacing the floor in the scarf that I wore
on the day that we met by the old statuette
of an infiant in the nude
We both thought it was lewd

Its a gas to be cast in the haze
and I’ve ben there four days
Yes I’ve been there four days

I wanted to play the fabulous game you taught me
yesterday but it’s impossible to play when you’re away
I take all of my books and I toss them aside
I don’t want to read them now
Proust pales to you somehow

Its a gas to be cast in the haze
and I’ve ben there four days
Yes I’ve been there four days
I’m so turned on that nothing can bum my trip
Its a gas to be cast in the haze
and I’ve ben there four days
Yes I’ve been there four days